Dual....:-)
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
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