Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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