I cockslap morals
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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