yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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