the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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