And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had to cum in my sink.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
