Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
