Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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