I don't think brook has ever known best
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
