Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Randomize
