Redeem this text for a blowjob
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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