Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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