I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
