Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
