Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
