And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
