My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
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