I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
