i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
