Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Randomize
