Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
