Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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