Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
