I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
