dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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