You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
