I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
