In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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