I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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