To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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