Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
