I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
