In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
