He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
