is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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