I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
