the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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