when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
