was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
