im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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