omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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