chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
