I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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