i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
