Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
