nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Need sex. Gaining weight.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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