Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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