Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
