she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
