Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize