??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
