Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
