i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
