Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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