i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize