i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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