its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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