wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
