I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
