okay pat passed out under dana's car
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
