Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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