he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
