U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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