remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
